He sounds lazy and cowardly to me. But then of course I am heavily biased.

I really don't believe that neuro-typicals can understand what mental illness is like. The equivalent I imagine is like if I tried to imagine what the color red tastes like. It just does not compute.

The result for me is that I either do not bond with neuro-typicals, or if I do, it's a more light-hearted and distanced bond, I just accept the limitations.

For me personally, I could not accept such a distanced bond in a romantic relationship. It just wouldn't work.

Not trying to be a negative nancy, but just saying that I think if you decide you can't handle the marriage, I can completely understand where you'd be coming from, no need to feel guilty about it.