I skipped play practice today... I have a director who was very fun and happy in the last play Philadelphia story.. now this year in peter pan she is totally mean... Especially to me.. I work this year too... I think she expects that i put play practice in before work.. but now i dont know whta to do... no matter what i do its wrong.. not to mention some of the cast look at me as a immature brat.. (see last post) I want to quit but if i do i dissapoint my family.. I dont know what i did... one kid said i was tarty cause i came in at 7:15 thinking play practice was at 7:30 but its at 7. So he says tarty i was starting to say this is how much i care what... she iterupts me saying YOU SHOULD CARE WEATHER UR LATE OR NOT... i said calmly before u interupted me i was saying THIS IS HOW MUCH I CARE WHAT U THINK ________ kids name... She say oh well u should care wheather ur late or not.. and gets on ym case about not coming on monday.. well i worked and i was trying to get off at 7... well she didnt want to listen... She doesnt yell at one girl who is never there... but she yells at me.. i dont get it.. Its not fun for me anymore... I dont even have a freaken part.. last year i was a maid.. this year im a extra....... Shows how bad my actng skills are.. and i thought i was going to be a actress. well im just oging to settle as a cop.. if i ever get over this stupid illness.. (no offense to anyone)... i haft to balance school, play practice, work, and chores everyday... truth is im tired.. i want to quit everything... but i wont... ... i just want to cut now.. matter of fact i havent cut for 2 weeks.. whoopie doo.. why do i even try to get better.. i cant afford using energy to get better.. i need it to keep that mask i have on my face, to work over time every day, get threw school, and chores.. i am up till 2 every nite, and up at 6 every morning finishing what i left off at 2... sorry if im rambling i just want to get out my feelings..