I dunno what I'm feeling now... I only know I can only use whisky to numb myself off... Though suicidal, pain and everything still exist but I also do go to work and become so tired easily and I slept for 12 hours today and yet still so tired and I still wanna drink to numb off and sleep... I dunno why I just feel like sleeping off and never wake up anymore... I really dunno what happened to myself...?? All I know is I kept asking myself a question: "what is the least 1 reason for me to live on" ? And I couldn't even find an answer for it. Exclude parents and people around me that loves me, I can't find a reason or an answer to this question for myself... That's why I felt so useless, meaningless, hopeless, and so depressed and disappointed with myself...

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