I wonder sometimes if we feel things more acutely than other people. Only my hubby gets to see me at my lowest, but when I'm there he feels bewildered and helpless at the pain I'm in-- and absolute anguish isn't too strong a description.

If we do feel our feelings more acutely than non BP's then we also demonstrate tremendous resilience and strength as we hang on through those horrendous lows long enough to survive until we come out of it.

I've been following your struggles and I want to say that I think you've shown that tremendous strength and also a great deal of courage in getting help.

If we do feel things more acutely, then I believe that goes for passion and joy as well as pain. Put on your seatbelt and ride this out a little longer. Brighter days are ahead. This won't last forever. In the meantime, keep taking the help you got for yourself and give yourself a huge pat on the back for being so brave :-)