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IzzyMarie · Jul 25, 2015, 02:35 AM

Hi. I've been having a bad week and I've been raging on my family and friends pretty much daily. I don't know how to explain to them what I go through when I'm triggered, but when I do try

Possible trigger:

they continue to invalidate my feelings and make it all about themselves. They don't even bother to try to ask themselves, or even me, what's going on with me. I've grown up with every type of invalidation you can come up with and my family continues to dish it out. Sometimes I think they deserve it when I tear them down with my rage. What really gets me is my mom knows about it all and she continues to press my buttons. It's obvious to me that she gets off on it. I can get angry with her, she can run to my sister and get comfort. My mom's so hungry for attention, yet she doesn't want to give any.

I think Thursday was the worst. My friend was being a jerk to me and he just wouldn't stop.

Possible trigger:

I'm positive he likes how he can take it all out on me and I keep coming back for more, because I'd rather deal with the abusive nature of him than be completely alone. He brought up past issues, which is probably something he should avoid with me and I split on him. I wasn't aware of it until after therapy that day and I had time to reflect, but I had already completely blocked him and I said some really nasty things. I'm surprised he was so understanding. He said that he knew I didn't mean it and we're "friends" again, until next time. I wish I could explain to him that he hurts me with the things he says, but I can't get the words right.

I love people, but I get hurt by them too easily. Even when I am with someone I feel alone, but their company distracts me from my depression and stuff.

Possible trigger:

Tomorrow my family will all get together and I will stay up in my room to avoid disrupting their fun. They'll forget about me until they need me and I'll die a little more inside.