@tarheelgirl80 i am so sorry for your struggle how did you get rid of this when you experienced this before? Hope your therapist can help you! Please let me know. X

honestly, the first two times I went through this (so, 2006 and in 2011), they seemed to naturally run their course. Well, the first one moved away so that may have ultimately facilitated recovery because eh, I had no choice? Second one already lived in another country so that may have prevented the obsession from persisting a ridiculously long time. I just saw my new therapist yesterday, and she still wants to use a few more CBT techniques that were not used with the other two guys. I now must write down all the things I want to say to Ray, even though we do not actually talk any longer. Then she instructed me to think of reasons (real or imagined) why he may be a terrible boyfriend or lover, rather than putting him on the false pedestal. Hope this works!