My dad constantly yells at me, critizises me and ignores me. He always acts like its my fault whenever something doesn't go his way. He ignores me all the time, he only pays attention to his new girlfriend and her daughter. He acts nicer when he wants me to do something, than he gets mad again. He takes away all my contact with my friends and family. My mum and dad split when I was 5 and ive been moving between them ever since. 4 and 1/2 years ago my dad got custody of me and I moved in with his fiancée at the time. He had realy bad drinking problems and he got violent. He grabbed my step mother by the throat and slammed her against the wall and began screaming at her when she confronted him about cheating on her with a married woman. The same one he is with now. For my whole life, my dad was almost never there and even when he got custody he wasn't there. My step mother, Robyn, was the only one who was there for me as I was always fighting with my mother. My brother left to live with my mother after a while as he got in trouble so much. After breaking off the engagement, my dad made me start packing and took me to Darwin. I didn't even get a choice in the matter even though I'm 15. He didn't even let me say good bye to my friends. Whenever he came to check on my packing progress, he would scream a me for not packing fast enough and threaten to take away my phone becase I put on music while I packed. When we got here I was alone all day everyday until I started school. Even then I was alone from when I woke up till I left and when I got home till after 5:30. I lived on mainly freezer meals for the first month as he didn't cook. Even now, the main thing I eat for dinner, if I eat at all, is food brought back by dads girlfriend, Sue. Its like he has a split personality, he can be horrid one moment and the next he's trying to be nice. Not long after we first came up, my room wasn't perfectly clean as I have no storge what so ever. My dad had been drinking and something made him mad, he grabbed my arm but I shouted at him to let me go. Instead he threw me on the bed and held me down as he yelled at me. Every night when I was little I used to stay up at night and listen to my parents fighting and from when inwas 5 onwards, I always felt so hollow. It feels like I don't even really know myself anymore, I never really feel good. Sure I can feel slightly happy but that hollow feeling is always there and I don't know what to do anymore. Just after my older brother left, I tried talking to the school counsilor, but I just cant talk to people. I've always had trust issues and I find it almost impossible to talk about what I feel when I'm face to face with someone. While I was livingbwith my mum, I was diognosed with aspergus syndrome and although I have not been officially diognosed, my closest friends suspected I have anxiety, depression, OCD, ADD and mild ADHD. I also have learning difficulties and I am extremely awkward around others so I never had lots friends. For years now I've had thoughts that no 15 year old should and I've learnt to shut out everyone.