I think the telltale clue is in how you feel about a kink you have.

If you experience it as positive, fun, exciting - basically all things good - then it's probably just some natural kink you happen to have, and there is nothing wrong with kink so long as activity takes place safely and between consenting adults.

However, if your "kink" invokes feelings of shame, anxiety and otherwise negative feelings, then it's probably a case of subconsciously trying to conquer trauma, and is not genuine kink.

I've been active on FetLife in the past, never met up with anyone, but enjoyed browsing kink material and talking to other kinky people. My personal opinion is that there tend to be 3 main types of people in the kink community:

1. Respectful, safe, mature people who are genuinely just kinky.
2. Predators who think that "being kinky" will excuse their predatory behaviors.
3. Victims of abuse who are subconsciously trying to re-live and conquer past trauma(s).

Based on your feelings and past experiences, you likely fall into category 3. And this is not something to be ashamed of, it's very common for sexual abuse and/or assault survivors to cope by turning aspects of the abuse/assault into fantasy. It's a way that the mind might try to overcome the experience and turn it into something where you are in control and empowered. All that matters is processing and working through things until you find emotional and mental peace. If you still turn out to be kinky after that, cool, if not, cool. What matters again is your emotional and mental peace.