T had surgery yesterday and had told me she'd be out a month, she thought. Maybe longer, depending... I have been so worried. I left her a message yesterday at 4am--couldn't sleep!-- wishing her well and that I was really going to miss her!

She had told me there would be someone on call if needed. I told her I'd never talk to anyone else! Can you imagine, calling someone you've never even met to talk to in place of T?!? I sure can't! So I was getting ready to call the on-call person to see if she'd tell me if T was ok. Before I could, the phone was ringing and it was T calling me!

She sounded really good !! She told me she will be back in the office Tuesday.. THIS Tuesday! How great is that?! We can resume our weekly Friday sessions next Friday!

But... when I asked if she was okay, she said yes, but that she "would need further treatment" . OMG! When she told me about needing surgery and having to be out a few weeks ago, I risked asking what she was having done. Her reply was that she had "decided to not disclose that at this time". Well, I can only think of one scenario here and that is cancer. I can't think of anything else where one would have surgery, then need further treatment.

Oh, I just want her to be okay! I'm wanting to 'be there' for her. It's going to be hard to not feel like a burden or a bother.

I feel so bad that a few weeks ago I was upset with her because she seemed distracted or not interested. So maybe she was, really, and understandably! And I was angry that she got 2 phone calls during the session, one from a client and one that was a call about "an important medical appointment". I feel like a thoughtless brat now. She must have wanted to wring my neck!

I'm glad she is coming back sooner than expected, but I'm not sure how we will go on from here.