Hi,
My latest dx is dipolar disorder. I already suspected it myself since my latest episode and when I look back on my life this happened about 2 times before. I guess it just happens when I take paxil. But the rollercoaster gets wilder and wilder as I grew older. The depressions deeper and longer and my latest manic episode was nastier than ever. They are not sure yet if im type I or II. I was not psychotic during my mania but I had all the other ****, inflated self esteem, spending spree, extreme irritability, restless, sleeping just 3 hours a night or less, talking fast and switching from one topic tothe other, grandiose phantasies, unprotected sex with strangers, fighting people in traffic, agressive, lots of energy (going to the gym 7x a week plus a combat sport). But underneath I was still depressed I guess. I was also crying a lot and desperate cuz my head was like a high speed train. After a while I became completely exhausted, I thought it was from sporting too much so I started to skip some days, but I became more and more exhausted. Until from one day to the other DANG, depressed as I was never before. 23 hours a day in bed, not eating, hardly drinking, not taking care of myself at all.
Now they don't prescribe me paxil anymore. Instead I have wellbutrin. But in my opinion it doesnt do enough for my depression. Im on it since 3 months, increased dosage to 300mg. But still I sleep 10 hours a night. At least I sleep well. My mood still swings, I can have a day that I have more energy and uplifted mood, next day I feel exhausted and suicidal again. I was always against meds but now anything that can help me is fine. I wanna live again. Some kind of mood stabilizer maybe. I was on lithium before but stopped because of the side effects. My cousin was on depakine, maybe that would be an alternative. Or seroquel which they gave me just before my manic switch. (I was so stubborn that I didnt want seroquel but paxil instead... stupid me...).
Anyway, this last episode made my life a mess. On disability, marriage is broken, feelings of guilt, exhausted; I guess I am still recovering from the artificial energy? Or is it the depression?

So far my story. I might have posted this already somewhere here on the forum but I never had BP dx until now.