I think that if your feelings (or erotic transference) is what keeps you going to therapy and ale what keeps you from really opening up, then that could be a red flag. They is also why I've always preferred to see female Ts. My pdoc is a male and I have some ET for him- but if he were my T it would be too much. The desire to come across as attractive would negate the value of much of the therapy, I think. I can see how your feelings may be what keeps you going I therapy, but if you can't be completely open then how helpful is it? I know some female (and male) Ts vary in how much comfort they give, and it sounds like you had some bad experiences with women. An it's possible some men will show more outward concern than women in the presence of a crying client because men often react that way in any context when women cry. As much as many of us loathe gender stereotypes, there are often very different dynamics at play when there is a male T/ female client than with a Female T/female client. Maybe your Ts expressions of comfort mean more to you simply because you value male input more than you value a woman's. Attraction can definitely cloud our perceptions of reality a lot and that might be worth looking into.