Quote:
Originally Posted by Trace14
So what you never learned how to throw a ball, go out and throw that ball NOW  Things that they didn't allow us to do as kids is unfair, but we are adults now and we can throw a ball, play board games or whatever we want to. Try them you might enjoy it. |
I know that your comments are well-intentioned but they miss the point entirely.
The ball toss with my dad was not about sports. It was a way of asking him if he wanted to get to know me, if he cared about me, if he accepted me, if he would spend time with me and teach me things. He did not. We never bonded. Ever. That's the real loss here. The lack of bonding with both my parents is the core root of my C-PTSD. I still don't bond with people. Trying to bond is a source of great pain that is buried down deep. No relationship with anyone else will cure it. It will always be there. No therapist has successfully treated it. Frankly, I'm so uncomfortable thinking about it that I don't even want to go there. It hurts that much. The scars will always be there. They affect my involuntary actions in social situations. It's so hard to fight them and I'm rarely successful.
Tossing a ball now would not meet that goal or heal the hurt. Due to a chronic elbow injury from playing tennis, I now cannot toss a ball anyway but that's beside the point.