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There comes a time when a very complicated relationship winds up like a matted mass of fishing line, and the only option is to cut it and start over. Are you at that point? Just because you love someone...doesn't mean you should be together...especially since this relationship is costing you so much of what you'll never get back. If the stress of dealing with it is landing you in IP, its toxic. No two ways about it.
But the big thing that got my attention was his pressuring you to bring a child into this situation! He knows dang well he isn't capable of taking care of it, so guess who will? It will be you, and only you. Its real easy to want something just to want it...without going through the mechanics of actually getting it and having the knowhow and energy to deal with it. 3yr olds do it all the time.
Normal children bring unimaginable stress to 'successful' parents. Imagine how negatively it will affect yours beings there are so many issues in play currently? Imagine again life with a child with disabilities (which if you two have issues, the likelihood is great). I lived that one myself, passing on my bipolar in the form of autism to my son...and bipolar to my daughter. Please tell him 'NO', its not negotiable to get him off your back...until there is more stability in your relationship. Good Luck!
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