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Jul 14, 2007, 04:40 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Location: minnesota usa
Posts: 565
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<font color="green"> Mostly just venting but trying to figure this one out. This week has been a ‘ahem’ hard one. Panic attacks and lots of emotional upheaval and much of it seems to be coming from that rotten inner kid.
I don’t know how others can love ‘the child within’ – mine is a whining snotty nosed pulling brat. If she is not tripping me up in my daily life she is raising an internal ruckus and dragging me back down. She doesn’t trust me and I surely don’t trust her. Every time I have felt like I could like her, she has shoved another vile memory into my face. Even now when I have worked through most of her crap she grabs the ugliest scenes and replays them again and again. Some days I don’t know which of us I want to kill more. I know she had a bad time, after all, I am she but does she have to wallow in the mire of it all? Does she have to rub my nose in it? Why can’t she just suck it up like she did back then? Why did she have to bury all these noxious feelings instead of just feeling them and getting it over with? Instead, she buried the pain, fear, and anger and true to form, the buried seeds have sprouted into a bumper crop!
I don’t want to think about her any more.
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dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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