Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Oh, good for you LauraBeth and I am sure others would like to be that way too. Unfortunately, for some, they are sensitive and may have been exposed to family or siblings or spouse that were constantly critical of them, so much so that a criticism can be triggering/upsetting to them. It's always a good idea to keep mindful that there are many individuals that have been victims that interact on this site. It is even a good idea to click on their name and read their about me so that one can get an idea of that person's challenges too.
For whatever reason someone does use an ignore, it is really meant to help them feel "safe". So, if you ever happen to discover you are on someone's ignore list, it may not be "you" so much as for some reason that individual just needed to exclude your input in their threads or interactions.
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Thank you Open Eyes. In no way do I mean to sound self-righteous, because I'm not. I came from a childhood home in which (TRIGGER WARNING)
...my mother and I were physically abused & I was sexually abused by my step-father. My mother was an intense borderline personality & was also terribly abusive toward me. My childhood home was a hell on earth as far as level of abuse. My mother was viciously critical of me...no one on this forum could come close to the strength of criticism toward me my own mother was capable of. I look back and I'm really proud of coming through all that and breaking the cycle of abuse with my own wonderful children.
HARD WORK!! Fortunately, I've pretty much worked through the abuse issues (
pretty much). These days what tends to trigger me more is grief and loss, because I've experienced way too much of that. But, let's face it: the abuse stuff will always be a sore spot.
I was incredibly fortunate to obtain 6 years of intensive therapy through the Veteran's Administration; the approach to therapy in that context was basically that once I was past the age of 1 the world was no longer a safe place, so work through my issues and deal with life as it is, not the way I might want it to be. If someone doesn't agree with me well, that's life. Set healthy boundaries when I need to and learn the skills to cope. So. I live by that philosophy because it works for me. I find life very challenging and, the older I get, the tougher life gets. But every day I work hard to live my life as successfully as I can.
What you said about
not personalizing an 'ignore' is spot on. Because just being put on an ignore list is enough to trigger some very painful memories and feelings for some people.