I agree that it's okay...

I also recognise that a lot of my own fetishes are an attempt to replay past abuse. This has been a shocking realisation for me. I feel that it's actually not healthy, for me, because I'm re-enacting that powerless state over and over...yes, it's consensual but the unconscious feelings will be of being scared and unprotected.

It's a difficult one. Some people will have the point that in re-enacting but having the control to give consent and choose to be in that situation, one is able to gain power over the abuse. And I think that can be true.
But for me, the fact that the need feels compulsive for me suggests that the power is still held over me. If that makes sense.