Nicole, there are lots of grounding techniques. When the memories come, try doing something physical, tactile. Squirm in a chair, pound your feet on the floor, touch a piece of furniture and tell yourself what it is and where it is and where you are. Or say out loud things you know well, so you can remind yourself you're in the present. You can run down family birthdays, or who is President, what day it is, stuff like that.

As for your best friend, I have found it very helpful to be upfront with people and just tell them what I can and can't handle. Just tell her that it's hard for you to hear things like what she told you and maybe it's a topic she can avoid around you. I had to tell my boss I couldn't cover someone's guilty plea in court (I'm a reporter) because the guy was accused of sexual abuse and that's something I have in my past. Reading the story another reporter did was enough to freak me out -- I never, ever could have sat there myself and stayed "present" enough to write a story. I just told my boss I shared a trauma with the victim and didn't think I could handle it, and she was fine with that. I think you'll find most people will be the same way.

Candy