It makes perfect sense to feel that way. When what you know and are good at is misery, then why change it for something that is alien or you are bad at?

People that have suffered from depression are experts on misery, and I often feel that if that is taken away from me then what is left? In that also plays a level of narcissism. Of feeling special because of my misery, that I have a unique insight into the human condition because of my illness.

But dealing with this is just like dealing with any routine, breaking out of them is incredibly difficult. It takes time and effort and in the case of bipolar the help of professionals and medication.