My pdoc said she didn't think I needed a mood stabilizer, even while agreeing that it sounds like I have BP1 and writing down "episodic mood disorder nos" on my paperwork.

Instead she wanted me to take Abilify, which to my knowledge is not a mood stabilizer but rather is used to treat psychosis? I did not want to take Abilify because at the time I was extremely wound up and agitated, and several reviews said that Abilify made their irritation and/or restlessness worse.

So I agreed to try Zyprexa, another atypical anti-psychotic. It works on most of my symptoms. It certainly makes all the psychosis-like stuff go away (naturally, I guess), but I still have depression symptoms. Now the Zyprexa is starting to cause weight gain, and I am frustrated.

I am frustrated because I do not understand my pdoc's thinking. She made it out like I am not 'bad' enough MI-wise to need a mood stabilizer. I don't see it as a matter of severity. I see it in terms of what is appropriate? I'm just confused and getting frustrated.

She specifically mentioned that she didn't think I needed lithium or depakote. Are these like, super heavy duty drugs or something? Are they really heavier than something like Zyprexa? It's hard for me to imagine an anti-psychotic as a 'light' medication, and a mood stabilizer as 'bringing out the big guns'. But is that really the way it is?