Thanks. That...makes sense
I have a few close friends, but feel neglected and fear abandonment (symptoms of Borderline).
"Old self that escapes reality" Hm...I think I understand. Said belief to escape reality was a cause of my trauma. (A cause, not the only one). About bringing joy back...Well, yes. I had felt depression for 3 Years and had not known it. Being hypomaniac is a sort of compensation for me...
I had started researching that deep after the movie hit me emotionally.
The hypomania started a bit later. As feeling friendly to myself, well, hypomaina.
I believe I may also be schizophrenic. I speak with voices inside my head, but do not suffer hallucinations or other symptoms.