I've been in crisis mode for nearly a week now (not to mention to life-long crises depression and anxiety bring about). I'm reaching out here because I have nowhere to turn and no one to talk to. The past week, I've been struggling with justifying existence and survival. I don't believe in God and I don't have kids (nor do I want any) so outside of the belief in something better or the desire to procreate and protect my genetic material, I can't think of any other reason to hang on to life. There's literally nothing and I'm OK with that. For me, death is the ultimate end and nothing beyond that. I've been questioning our own selfish desire to continue on as a species and I don't understand. But it's not my place to question the existence of others, just my own. I don't enjoy my life. I've reached all the big milestones that one should as an adult. I wish I could say screw it, blow all my money on things that feel good, and deal with the consequences later but I could very well be stuck here on earth for the next 50 years so I need to get by. My husband says that I have to create my own meaning but there's nothing out there that I really want to do badly enough. I just want to travel, relax, and eat. Neither of those make sense nor am I entitled to having these luxuries. So, I ask you, fellow sufferers in the digital world, what keeps you going? Why do you get up day after day, deal with the daily grind, the pain and mental anguish? What is your end result?