Anichka, you just said a lot of things I totally identify with. I'm in crisis mode as well, I too have no kids, and don't really want them. I have no clue what I'm here for. There have been times when I did. I feel like the fog and uncertainty is kind of going hand in hand with an increase in depression and anxiety lately - not sure which came first! But I've been in serious "WTF is this all for" mode, and it sucks. I suppose my answer to your question, for me at least, is that all I can do is hope I feel better and I find something to give me joy and keep me going, the way it used to. That something will spark the fire I used to have and I'll get inspired again!

Also: I don't think there is anything remotely wrong with just wanting to travel, relax and eat. If you can pull that off, then do it! To me, that's living the dream! Maybe you can just find a way to do that and make a blog out of it? Right now I can't think of anything I'd rather do than hop on a plane and go cruise the globe for a while, but sadly right now it's not in the budget.

This probably sounds super cheesy, but I'm considering taking some classes. Just some random classes I always wanted to take, like ceramics, or art history or whatever. Just so I feel engaged in something. Hope something takes.

Either way, I hope you find some peace. Let me know how it goes, as I'd love to know!!!