I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression since you were 9.

I was first diagnosed with depression as my hypomania (I have manic episodes now) went unreported by me to doctors. I tended to only see them when depressed so my bipolar diagnosis only happened much later on in life.

I'm not altogether suprised that you mention that your dad experienced depression as I think there certainly can be genetic links there.

I can identify with the symptoms of hypomania that you describe that your pdoc has picked up on too - energized, excited about life, productive, more talkative and social (Though I'm always pretty chatty), more confident, more creative. I have issues with impulse control, particularly with money ...

And I can fully understand this too:

I RELISH the times when I feel good.

There's no need to feel guilty if this is a bipolar mood swing.

It doesn't mean that everything in your life that is good will be taken away. Those factors will still remain.

With meds/therapy it will just help stop the drop from dropping too low and the high from swinging too high to the point where you're no longer in control of it.

Keep us updated and let us know how it goes!