With research and self-education, I had a pretty good idea that I was on the bipolar spectrum for a few years before I was officially diagnosed..(with hindsight I was able to look back and see some obvious patterns)..but I still never seemed to see any of the episodes up or down coming...

I was officially diagnosed last fall (at 50) because I ended up IP due to severe depression.

Since that time I have worked diligently to try to gauge my moods and track them. I am not having a lot of luck recognizing them coming on yet but at least I am becoming more aware of where I actually am.

I think it takes years of self-awareness to learn your cycles and their pre-emptors.....

I understand how the lack of money can make things seem worse (financial stress is a huge trigger for me) but please continue to know that you have value and you will find that thing that improves your life...

hugs!