ThisWayOut, thanks for your reply - you have great advice. I wish I could get strong on my own. Seems like whenever anything like this happens, I don't get much chance to strengthen my own muscles, so instead, I atrophy. I know that my parents do not mean harm in doing this, however, it is crippling. I don't know if I am strong enough to stand up to them. I want to get out from under them, because they are so heavy on top of me. They are just trying to support but it feels stifling and suffocating. I hear others on these boards say that they did not have parents in their childhood, that they did not get a childhood and they had to take care of themselves. I have the opposite. Overkill on the parents doing everything for me. So now I am all grown up and do not take care of myself well, because just sit back honey and they will do it for you. They won't let you fall, they will rush in and rescue rescue rescue! (enable enable enable). Most people would have loved to have had the childhood I did - it was great, we even went to disney land and I had everything I ever wanted. But it came at a cost. The cost is my adult life is crippled. If I could go back, I'd take the no parents so at least I might be out on my own with a family and kids of my own and maybe one day be able to meet my grandkids. I feel lots of anger towards the parents who love me so much it hurts. They are right there. They won't let me breathe a breath without them. How could I on my own? How could I do anything on my own (anything right that is). How could I even be trusted to vaccuum the basement floor? I just can't be trusted to do anything. So I don't. I sit back. I let myself be paralyzed and let them take care of me. It makes me want to give up, crawl into bed and never leave. To just quit school and quit my job (get fired cause it's gonna happen), and then just let them take care of me. They obviously want to, they are not doing anything that would cause me to believe they want me to have any sense of independence. They are happy to provide. Why not just kick back and take it easy? They are happy to do the work why do I need to? It would be just like me to push the limit. To see just how far they will let this go. Maybe I want it to happen sooner or later. Maybe that is why I am self sabotaging. Hard to move forward when everything gets so comfortable it is dead. Hard to get up and live at all. Why try? Everything just gets done and everyone just goes on, life goes on. Who needs me? They even take care of the cat now, I don't need to do anything. Don't need to buy groceries, pay rent, don't need to cook, clean or do the dishes even. Not even laundry. And so it goes. So maybe I push the limit till my dad explodes and maybe he does what, kicks me out, gives me a dead line to be gone? I don't know. It will be my dad though. He is the one who reaches limits and explodes. But how will I be strong enough to move out and where would I go? What will I do when I get there cause I'm just a helpless (hopeless) little girl forever. How will I ever do anything on my own? I'm just not capable.

These are the thoughts in my head right now. Sorry mom and dad, you know I love you to death. I thank you for everything you have given me, for all you do for me. I don't know how I would do it without you. Can you drive to school and take my test for me too? Thanks.