Im new to this site so i chose so im not sure if this is the right place to post but here i go. Im 18 just graduated and i can say the last 2 years have been hell for me. I just dont know what happened all my life i was always known for being hilarious outgoing and full of charisma and i was loving life i had friends and i felt like i can talk to just about anyone. i was a master of tongues it wasnt. in 10th grade i met a girl who i dated for a long time who got me into the habit of smoking marijuana. We would smoke it everyday and it was always pretty cool i guess i cant remember that far back but i dont remember not liking it we would have sex unprotected and she just seemed like the one at the time. Mind you i was young and naive as time progressed i realized she was just playing for other guys which i can say hurt alot i continued my smoking habits it was like a everyday thing nd now when i smoke i know im high but i dont enjoy it i barely laugh i barely laugh sober i dont even care for sex anymore if i have it then thats cool. Talkin to new people or people i dont talk to on a regular seems staged or doesnt feel authentic often times i feel like im trying to hard. When i talk its like my vocab has been cut in half i dont even speak the same. I feel like its not me. when im at parties or out with friends im over conscious and aware of everything it just doesnt feel right. i dont feel comfortable in my own skin... i fap pretty regularly but i just dont feel like life is getting any better. Can someone please shed light on this.