I can tell when I have swings. I knew about my mood swings before I was diagnosed, just didn't realize there was now a step down from what my mom had (my swings have never been as bad as hers). I'm a rapid-cycler, so I could feel many swings in a day. It was really weird and I would be exhausted as if I had ridden roller coasters all day.

My hubby is very in tune with my moods and is also able to tell when I am swinging. I'm pretty even with the meds and only slight mood swings and not as cycling as before meds. I also do not have the anxiety spikes that I had prior to being medicated as well.

Not sure if you are in therapy or not, but maybe the therapist can have a "family" session with you and your wife? It might help.