Rainbowzz, don’t be too hard on yourself. I wish I had a nickel for every time I quit and then relapsed. I agree with MountainGirl, quitting is a process. In my mind you are not starting all over—nobody can take that sober month away from you. That is part of the reason why I sometimes think counting days can have positives as well as negatives. Stick with it, today is a new day.

This is just a thought, but when I was early in sobriety I would have not been able to put myself in the situation you were in--I would not have been able to work the door and stay sober. Matter of fact, I don't think I would do it now.