godhelpme, I had similar issues in most of my past relationships. I am now with a person who is supporting me while I go to therapy. Yes, sometimes I am still inappropriate and hurtful. When that happens I try to recognize it and we talk about why I acted in that manner. I attribute my change to my therapy. Without therapy I think I would have remained stuck in the same pattern—I would get close then run and I had difficulties sexually. So, a person can recover if they take the steps and work through their issues.

I decided to get help because I got tired of living like I was and I thought I could have a better life. Today, I have been in a fairly stable relationship for 6 years. We have had our issues, but we have worked our way through them.

I think he is lucky to have you in his life—maybe he will realize it.