I think it really boils down to cummunicating better.

My husband use to take it personal when I was down and depressed and/or dealing with pain.. I would make remarks about my life sucked, I hate this , I hate my life .. he took things personal...

Once we really talked he learned that I wasnt bashing our life together, Nor was my depression due to anything he did or didnt do. We made some specific "rules" basically..

When I am in a downward spiral I just give him a heads up, He also agrees to not try and fix me ( he can't) He will daily ask me if there is anything he can do to help and tell me he loves me then gives me my space.

Everyone is different in how they deal with episodes.. It's all about finding what will work for you and your partner and that all starts with open and honest talking.