I've gone through some of what you are experiencing...though I first ended up on meds that totally destroyed my eating & I lost weight like you gained which landed me in an ED treatment center & in the medical hospital on & off for several years. I was determined that I really liked the weight loss & went for the laxitives because I couldn't throw up. I have always had a horrible time throwing up & would get so bad I broke blood vessles in my eyes & all over my face.....blood red whites of my eyes was NOT something I cared to repeat.

However. laxitives aren't a safe way to loose weight....& actually it's NOT weight you are loosing with laxitives it's only fluid & that's not fat that is being burned off so in reality, you aren't loosing weight with laxitives.....the problem with them also is that your body can become dependent on them to function & after awhile depending on how bad you abuse them, they will stop your body from functioning in that way all together & major surgery will be required that will remove the intestines which get destroyed.....ICK....I'm sure that's NOT what you want in your future.

It's much better to work with your pdoc in finding a med that will truly work with your body & your bi-polar with depression condition & if you have a pdoc that refuses to work with you or at least provide you with a nurtitionist who can help you work out a healthy diet so that you won't gain the weight that the meds cause.....find another pdoc who will. Know it's not that easy....but it's better than having your health compromised.

Over weight nor underweight is healthy & we should strive for a healthy balanced life in ALL areas. Hope you can find this.

Welcome to PC.....it's really a wonderful place with wonderful supportive people.....I started coming here 10 years ago in the ED forum just at the time my mother was dying of cancer & everything hit me along with going through a trauma which even though I wasn't on meds at that time, the stress caused me to loose a massive amount of weight though I didn't get down as low as the first time....I was still medically hospitalized for it & it took me several years to recover with the PTSD issues on top of it.

There are so many issues involved with ED's & usually there is something (even meds) that are the initial trigger that starts the issue we end up having to deal with.

Wishing you the best & a very warm welcome to PC.