I'm so sorry your head seems to be arguing endlessly with itself. That's a feeling I'm all too familiar with. Stay strong, friend. Like the others here, I do recommend you see someone about this. It's ok to need help, and it's ok to be vulnerable. 
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"Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." -CS Lewis, the Screwtape Letters
Teen with (probably severe) depression
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