Here's the thing. Perhaps you weren't over your promiscuity, and the BDSM put a spotlight on your feelings about feeling used, dominated, and inferior. The BDSM isn't the issue here. You had a long history of past casual sex. You decided enough was enough and you wanted a relationship. Well, your promiscuity was highly intense, and then you go into a highly intense relationship. You wanted to take things slow, and a BDSM relationship as your first real relationship since promiscuous sex isn't taking things slow. Don't think of it as a bad thing that you found BDSM to be perverted. It's just not what you're into, and at this point of your life you need boundaries. BDSM is not something to go about lightly, and if it's not your thing, then don't feel obligated to run back to him. Take things slow with your next partner. Trust me, there are other men that would be glad to take things slow.