My heart goes out to you. I've been there, and know too well how awful it feels. They say that when people are depressed, they don't REALLY want to die, they just want the pain to end. When I'm depressed, I really want to die.

Please remember this too will pass. As people on this board have pointed out, this illness CYCLES. You won't feel like this forever.

Sending you big hugs and I hope this phase passes quickly for you. (((HUGS)))