I feel like such a pathetic individual most days.

I still live at home with the parents, I have a job that I hate that hates me back.... No matter how hard I try at this job I never get recognized, just held back.. I have no friends and only the family I live with as far as I'm concerned. Even then, I would trade my current family (minus my sibs) for a box of matchbooks. And I don't even smoke.

Every friend I ever make just stops talking to me, or treats me poorly, or just keeps me around for what I can do for them instead of being genuinely interested in me as a person. Almost every long distance relationship I've ever been in, I've been emotionally abused or manipulated.

I've tried everything I can think of to make friends from board game clubs to book clubs, things I like to things I have no interest in....

I've been suffering with bipolar 2 all of my life, but only medicated for it in the last few years and every time I get on a poor combination of meds, I feel as low and black cloud as I do today. And it often makes me feel like no one cares because I have no one to help me through it.

I've seen my doc today and changed meds, but even so, I feel so much despair and I just feel like no one cares about me, not even me myself or I. Can someone please just tell me it will be okay? I've suffered through feeling this way for almost 14 years, and as a result I just feel like there's no hope because nothing ever improves.

Does any one have any advice for me?