Hi,
I am Dori ,i am new just today my first post.
i want to tell you i am scared to be here.
a year ago i went to a phycharist cause i had gone through a very bad abusive relationship and he diagonised me as bipolar 2 and said i needed mediacation i tried the medication for a few weeks then i threw it in the trash and never returned .
my story, the short version, i am 51 i was taken away from my parents at the age of 12 for abuse on every level and then grew up in foster home. after one home, i left at 15 to then grow up on the streets , married and maried into an abussive relationship one after another.
i became a chrristian and learned past is past and i ignored my life for 20 years after that if had sympthoms i quote scripture till it left.
i worked hard not to be as my mom and she was manic depressive and died that way, mentaly crazy now i am sinlge mom with a daugther 18 and son 15 and work full time at a tough job , and i function most days but most days i fake it .my beliefs in God are strong and i know i am not crazy and i know he wont let me fall .
but the lights are out the kids alsleep and i think am i crazy would of no one knows i took the test on line my daughter wanted me to it said call a dr immmeditely and you are at the top , i dont want medication i been through rape by gunpoint , incest , beatings , homeless and abuse and abuse and abuse a broken heart so why cant it just be i am hurt still maybe al little broken hearted not crazy you might answer bi polar means you need help you are not crazy but to me bi polar is you are crazy i cant accept i am all i fought not to be and it didnt matter cause od dna
i dont want to come at this hurting anyone or attacking , i just cant give in yet i cant go to a dr would if i am and would if it is just another way to control me and take away me , does this make sence to any one ,, dori