So, I've been working like mad on my final Masters Practicum.

The other night I called T because I was quite bugged out. I was out of town and when he called me back, I told him that I was now afraid that I would be the one who wasn't coming back, instead of him. He soothed me and assured me that I would be back in his office next week.

He asked about my work, and I told him how much I loved it but that the pace was awful. He said, "It must be grueling." I just felt so validated. Anyway, I told him about a connection I had made between my work (literacy) and how we are using a model that stresses responding "in the moment." And, I said that reminded me of therapy. He said, "I'm glad you brought me with you."

Sigh

And if that feels so good, then why does it feel so awkward in his office? And why do I think he doesn't really mean it? And why can't I allow myself to accept his good and generous feelings? Dammit!