Canders,

He's not doing this to you...You are doing this to yourself.

I know you are fragile and young but it is time you faced some facts. I have replied to you previously in regards to this topic and your thinking has still not changed and in fact you are in a worse state of mind. In fact, you are still in denial. This is being extremely unfair to yourself, to him and to your mental health. It is time you start listening.

As mean as his words are, he is trying in his own bumbling way to tell you that his feelings for you are no where near what yours are for him. You deserve to be able to be set free to find a man who will love you for you and one that will not treat you poorly.

Hunny, I really resented your comment about having a bad family and poor parents too...just because you have these people in your life, doesn't mean you can excuse poor relationships with others too. You should take the examples of poor relations and move forward determined NOT to repeat the past. Take a look at your parent's relationship and the way they treat you and ask yourself if what you are doing to yourself in your current relationship is anything similar. I can assure you that I see co-dependancy in your writing and the only thing you really need in your life right now is to find yourself....Not hang onto a man who doesn't want you.

No man that is worth anything would ever make you cry unless he is proposing marriage and whipering beautiful, sweet nothings. I cannot tell you one instance when my current bf of 3 years ever made me cry...except when he presented me with a very lavish gift. Those were tears of joy. Love is happiness and joy...not anger, lowering of self-esteem, beating yourself up, confusion, or nothingness. You should feel confident and forward enough in your relationship to know that if he were to go for a year, he would not be cheating, he would be back for you, and it would only be a temporary time away. All indicators show that he doesn't intend to be back for you and in the only way he knows how to tell you, he is trying to prepare you but you refuse to listen. Please take his word for it. He is only trying to help, even if his way of helping is so hurtful.

He fully intends to move on and he fully intends to let you move on to. He doesn't want you waiting and pining for him while he is away because he intends to meet other women on his travels and he wants you to move on to meet other men while he takes this time away.

Have you considered that perhaps part of the reason he is going for this lengthy trip is to make this break from you clean???? IMHO it's the very best thing for the both of you and after some time apart you will see where our words are coming from.

Cander, it is time to come out of the denial and start listening. No matter how many times you ask the same question and no matter how long you spend pining over a bumbling idiot...the end result will still be the same. Take control of your life. I wish we had a different answer for you but unfortunately this is not the case.