Thanks - these responses are helpful.
Sometimes - it's been easy to explain to various people that I will be "on retreat" - so they know that by this it means - please don't contact me for a week. I kind of like the idea about telling people that I'm cutting out coffee/lunches completely, or that I am going to say no to everyone all the time (sometimes I almost feel like that, although it isn't "me" really. But I don't like it when folks start interrogating about my plans, because I've come to realize that some of them don't really care what my plans are - they just want to find a way to take over my time for their own agenda (or to start some unwanted meddling), so I've learned to avoid these (so I get into this response routine of vagueness - so it becomes a meaningless encounter). I don't know. Why the persistence? Is it this intensity of their wanting something? I can remember when I was much younger, and intensely wanting something - so I can sort of empathize. About making a choice about the restaurant - not sure if it would make a difference - because the making of that kind of decision is something that is important to me to be equally part of that decision (as I do not like being dragged around by others) - yet it could be that this particular person is already getting on my nerve too much. I don't even want to mention seeing the person once a month, because that's too much like a commitment (and I don't want any commitment - feels to be too much of a demand, and it might put me off with the dread, therefore I would feel the dread for the entire month in advance. Seems like I need to have no contact for a while. Keep in mind that this is not a friend. This is simply an acquaintance who lives in my same apartment building. That's all. So with this clinginess - I am currently telling myself that this person's style likely occurs with everyone, so it isn't about me at all. This person likely does not have much interest in me - because it's all about finding out a bit of information, and then their trying to latch onto my spare time (except that I don't have spare time). Oh it feels like an invasion.