So here's the email my T is going to send to ex-T:
Quote:
1. Why did you terminate?
2. Why did you say it was your intention for closure sessions and then take it back?
3. Why did you promise continued contact and now won't allow it?
4. Why did you start our last session by telling me you're terminating me instead of gently breaking it to me?
5. Why won't you have a 3-way phone conversation?
6. If it wasn't meant to be long-term therapy, why did we fight Medi-Cal and Optum, and why did you see me for 17 months?
7. Why did you abandon me to the county as soon as you could when you promised not to?
8. Why are you avoiding me?
9. Why was it important for me to have closure with [my Pdoc] before she went on maternity leave, but you won't allow me closure?
10. When and why did you choose to stop caring about me? (Based on what you taught me about Dr. Peck's teachings, his and your view on love, and how love is a "choice").
***I feel you owe me an apology for all the lies you told me and all the pain you have caused me.
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"I think" this is the last bit my T and I can do anymore with ex-T. I said that with the 3-way phone conversation though...
I have given it a lot of thought over the past 4.5 months and I think I will be filing grievances against her with the state and APA. I know it will prolong the pain, but I desperately need a sense of closure. If this email thing doesn't work, then I'm 95% certain about going forward. My fiance and my mom support it. I know some people here support it; some are against it. But I just don't think I can emotionally "rest" until I've exhausted all my options. But this of course depends on my ex-T. If she writes a sincere apology, I will be at peace. If she answers my questions honestly with no b.s., I will be at peace. But as things are, I'm struggling too much with the abandonment still. I think new T might even be on board with the grievances. She didn't play "devil's advocate" today.
Ugh! Why wont she give me closure?!?! I would freaking go away if only I could understand or at least get an apology!