Hope this is OK RiverX--- going a bit off topic here to reply to MotherSuperior.

You said: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mandy, you said you never bonded with your mother? Neither did I. Though I can't say my family is messed up; they're pretty much the norm. I'm third oldest of eight.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I think not having that infant/toddler bond with a mother or mother figure-- can be a big ingredient in developing a personality disorder. at least--IMO.(in my opinion)
I struggle so so much to make "connections" with others.... sometimes it's so hard, I feel like giving up and do quite often ..... It seems people don't usually understand me -- I'm not so good at expressing myself properly. Sometimes what I want to say gets mixed up from my brain to over where it is expressed

It's good that you had a "safe" place at home --- so sorry you had to deal with torment at school though. i can understand how that can cause someone to not want relationships.
Strange how-- school for me was safer than home-- did get jumped once(in middle school- junior high school), poked with stick pins(from a drug dealer in high school)-- but- home was a worse place for me. I wanted to go to school and LOVED the food there-- I ate a full balanced meal-- every day! Almost all my siblings struggle with disorders and or addictions-- one though has passed away, due in the end, to self-neglect.

It's good to hear from you and everyone else too!

mandy