Quote:
Originally Posted by eden1515
the ocd doesnt like me doing stuff to try and get rid of it it REALLY hates that and i cant risk it anyway because bad things will happen if it gets mad at me. It has made bad things happen before and it will do it again if i go against it. I think i am just not meant to be happy i understand that i could be pushing people away but i have been really trying not to i try to talk to people about what they like and make the conv all about them but no one is ever interested in me or anything i say even my parents ignore me and will talk over me about themselves. I think i am just not meant to find happiness.
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Anything bad that happened is shear coincidence. Sadly you're going to have to find a moment when you are frustrated or just trust a little bit and break the OCD habit just to see the bad thing doesn't happen. You already know it's your OCD, you said it yourself. Having OCD is just like having paranoias, which are usually irrational... But just because you have a fear doesn't mean it's true. OCD is a thing and people are cured of it all the time, but you need to realize it and see a shrink. Unfortunately in our country there's no way help will come to you, we have really awful mental health care.... So unless you go tell someone and take a risk you're going to be dealing with the OCD nightmare and I bet that's a major reason why you're so depressed.