I'm glad to hear you have a realistic expectation of what kind of response you might get. That's good. Maybe you had said it before and I missed it along the way, but that was my big concern for you, so that's good.

Unfortunately, I don't think she CAN give you closure. Somehow you are going to have to get to that point of closure on your own. Even if she tried, I don't think it would heal that wound for you. That's going to have to come from within you, but right now you are desperately trying to get that closure from without. The hard lesson I've learned in life is that my healing has to come from within myself. No one has the magic word or solution to fix that for me.

I had the opportunity once to confront one of the people who wounded me the most. I had that opportunity to sit face to face and ask those hard questions, to try to find closure. He did what you and I suspect your T will do: he justified his actions, he blamed me, he pretended to apologize, he pretended to be ashamed. But I knew he was just covering his butt and getting through that conversation. It didn't bring me closure. Even if he had said everything I needed him to say (and honestly, thinking back, there was nothing he could say), it would not have brought me closure. It could not because the wound was still pretty much gaping open and needed time and work and treatment to begin to heal.

I DID find that closure for myself, within myself, many years later. Life wasn't put on hold while I reached that place. Don't think you can't keep living in the meantime. You can. I moved on with my life. I got married, had kids, continued with my career, etc., but that wound took a lot of time and work before it was truly closed. It HAS closed though which after all these years is just an added bonus. In retrospect, I realize that that lack of closure didn't end things for me. It created some challenges -- big ones at times, but I was able to keep moving forward while over time the closure came.

You can move forward and allow yourself whatever amount of time it takes for this closure to come for you. Don't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen. It is only one aspect of the life you've lived and you have SO much more ahead if of you; don't let this open wound put the brakes on your movement forward. Don't give her that much power. YOU will find the closure in its due time. In ITS due time.