My problem is not disclosing employment, it is disclosing being on disability for mental health issues (depression), which in all reality have become physical as well (sacroilitis that is worsening). And also in disclosing that, it is kind of saying that I should disclose every health issue I have. Should I also say, hey, by the way I'm diabetic and take thyroid and blood pressure pills, so maybe I'm not so healthy and you won't want to meet me??


I just don't know if this person, and possibly more people I just meet for coffee to start of with, and see if there's any interest, should know about my disability, because of the stigma attached, and also people talk.


Say we meet, talk for a half hour, and decide we don't really have interest or likes in common. Then he walks away with a very personal piece of information of me. My depression.


It wouldn't be a big deal if people didn't judge and stigmatize mental health.


There is a chance, and could be a good one, that I will not be on disability forever and go back to work full time.


I get what ptang says too, and that is why I asked. It's a normal routine part of conversation. And if he has a problem with me on disability we wouldn't end up dating anyways. Also he has a right to know so he can decide what he wants. I just don't think it should be public information. On my profile beside profession, I just said yes. Because I do have one I can and do still do it, just not much. I would like to tell him that is what I do, but not until I feel comfortable that he is interested in me at all. Then, if he wants another date, after we talked about the many other things in the world that are just as significant, (and to me what you do for a living is not the most significant thing about a person), then I should tell him before planning to meet again.


Now I'm confused, and I feel like telling him over the internet dating site, that I'm on disability before we even meet, and tell him I'll totally understand if he doesn't want to meet. It was just for coffee. Most people get this. You don't know anything about each other. He has said what he does. He hasn't asked what I do. He could also lie or be a fraud.


I've been honest before when trying this and was told it was fine, led on for months, until the point of being intimate and having feelings, and then my mental health was used as an excuse to end it after they "conquered" me. Later I found out he still was with his ex gf, but wasn't getting sex. That is why I'm wary of disclosing anything about it.


May I ask you Divine, are you on disability? Did you put that on your profile?

Are you comfortable with the public knowing?

Also, anyone else on a dating site that is putting under profession "disability", are you comfortable with that?