feeling more alone than I've ever felt; with a brand new t and with pnurse quitting. with trying to get services for mom and her trying to re-enslave me. with her providers not seeing past the veneer, and my providers practically non-existent.
I alternate between hopelessness/despondency and determination to get healthy and get as far away from my mom as possible.
no one can understand my mom or see the danger that lurks there. she's soooo good. I almost believe her. I've been crying all night (even while running - and I haven't run in years- trying to outrun her long shadow).