I not sure how this forum stuff works... you are the first person I've posted to. Can't sleep and reading how this total stranger going by the name of Kiya/wise elder has been crying all night. So many years of sobbing and constant sobbing going on just under the surface in my life... so I guess I wanted to say I'm thinking about your situation, though it's kinda hard to know really because I haven't read any of your past posts.