Hello Chris,

I feel really bad for you as I can see that you are completely taking the blame for this when infact it is about one person building hopes and dreams around a person and the other not being on the same page. Love is an awful thing isn't it, we lose our minds in the process and are unable to see clearly.

You feel it was your past drug use, more likely the accidental heroin substitute that gave the lady an excuse to duck out. If she had been truly inlove with you, this would have simply lead to a discussion and support, not a deal breaker.

I'm female Chris, and what I see here is a woman who immediatley jumped into bed with another man at the soonest opportunity. Her love for you was not the same as the love you felt for her. You built up your own dreams, it's possible she played on that.

It's a harsh and awful lesson, you loved her, she didn't love you enough. You need to draw a line on this now, in time you'll realise this really would not have worked, you deserve better.