I need to stress that the clock-watching isn't a normal thing with her. I've never really noticed her doing it before, but yesterday she was on a harried schedule. The clock is on a table behind and to the right of me, not obtrusive, but yesterday I noticed.

Not that I'm excusing it happening even once; I didn't like that and will be letting her know next time.

And as practiced as her reactions are, I've never gotten the sense that she isn't listening or that her compassion is false. I believe she does care, we're alike in so many uncanny ways (in our respective personal histories, attitudes, beliefs, etc.), we both know it, and it's why I like her so much and am able to open up to her. I call her expressions "practiced" because I'm sure they're exactly that -- drilled into her over years of doing this, and she's probably not even aware she's doing it.

I completely understand about the potential for "compassion fatigue". I realize that Ts have to limit their emotional exposure or they'd go crazy from the sheer number of issues brought into their offices each day. All the same, knowing this doesn't help the frustration I feel at my end of that room. Given that one of my issues is profound alienation from people and an inability to form and maintain healthy relationships, it drives me insane to feel that this woman with whom I feel such a deep connection can't be any more "real" to me than anyone else. It makes me want to seal myself away and never talk to anyone again.