Showing up at her door, in another state, after she has asked you to leave her alone is actually quite frightening. I think it's great that you are in therapy and you should probably talk to your Therapist about how to understand and respect other people's boundaries. The checkered past aside, I think the bigger problem here is that she asked you to leave her alone and you continued to call her at work, show up on her doorstep, etc. You focused on what you wanted from her, rather than on what she wanted and what she was asking for. You also seem to have created this perfect fantasy relationship in your head that does not match up with reality. You thought that if you showed up, it would be like it is in the movies--- but that isn't real. In real life, when a guy shows up on a woman's doorstep, it's scary.