I wanted to reply to this Nike when I had some time.

I think that what you could do is look at your own past and see if you faced too many individuals or even parents/family members that encouraged you to feel incompetent (too demanding and controlling, it was inconvenient if you needed). Also, what can happen is that an individual can be taught to think they are wrong or incompetent when they struggle emotionally.

Unfortunately, society does have a lot of ways of encouraging individuals to feel "incompetent". We are told while being educated that when we don't get 100 % right on something, we are not very competent. The focus tends to be on what we get wrong instead of what we are getting right. This has also been marketed to where if a person doesn't have a certain label on their clothes and shoes, then they should feel bad or somehow incompetent.

Many struggle to talk to a therapist for "fear of being judged", which tells me they were judged and often poorly which made them feel incompetent somehow.

Complex PTSD can result not only from being physically abused, but also emotionally abused and a long history of the victim having too many individuals overpower them by convincing them they were incompetent.

Often an individual can develop problems with anxiety because they are basically expecting that moment where someone will point at them and say "you are incompetent" and "worthless". If a situation takes place that happens to be very traumatic, and the individual already is challenged with anxiety, it is possible they will be shaken up so much by that that they end up developing PTSD.

This is when an individual can become very challenged with "bonding" with other individuals because they have been hurt so much that they "avoid" developing close bonds with others. If a person experiences too much negative input by being exposed to too many individuals that are too insensitive and critical it can sour them from even wanting to around people completely. And what is sad is that they begin to "self blame", when in reality it was really "not" their fault.

If you are emotionally challenged, then it means that you need support and comforting and someone to help you with your self esteem. You "are" only human after all, and in being human you were designed to have emotions that will in turn push you to want to ask for help. Emotions are expressing our fear and uncertainty and when we express emotions it is supposed to draw in others to help us understand whatever we may be "afraid" of so we become more educated about the world around us and slowly learn better ways to understand it so we are "not" so afraid. If we are taught to ignore our emotions and "hide" how we feel or even be ashamed when we do feel, then we are discouraged from doing what we are meant to do which is be "human" and reach out for comfort, support, and guidance.

So, whenever I read a post where someone is asking for help and is genuinely challenged and finishes with saying "I am sorry", that tells me this person was somehow taught that it was wrong to feel/need emotional comfort and be ashamed when they are simply being human and struggling.

If someone responds to you like this one friend did where they said, "if I hear your story it could make me feel bad too", then that is "not" because you do not deserve to get comfort or talk about how you need that comfort. Instead, what that means is the other person is admitting to you that they themselves have struggled and did not get the comfort they needed either and may not be able to give you the comfort and advice you need because they may simply not know "how".

A lot of people "avoid" comforting others, they do so because they feel incompetent to actually be able to do that kind of human interaction, it makes them "uncomfortable". Most people "avoid" doing things that make them feel uncomfortable not because the other person is not worthy, but simply because they really do not know "how".